Saturday, August 1, 2009

I shall accept my defeat this time. My english oral went down the hole. Not that i just fluked it... it just pulverise itself without my help. I knew i was underprepared. Not to mention that i didn't even followed the format, also.. I have a bastard for a classmate. 'Lucky' me.

So, let bygone be bygone. I'll catch up somehow. It will be one way or the other. I know I can do this. This mean that i have to work up on my essay and english test paper. Oral is not going to of any help. It used to be but now... i have to depend on my own creativity and skills. English is not hard.

My chemistry supervisor asked about my EE. Asking me whether am I not worried. Of course i am worried. My EE has been swimming in my head since forever. Someone asked me this though, did you regret taking Chemistry EE? Well... up to a certain point, not really... I want to do this. I really and actually do. I just need that one spark of inspiration... the movation, the out of the box, the thrill and I am there. I don't care what other people say. I know I can..
* in a state of denial ... lol.. *

I have to constantly remind myself to do things one at a time and not get myself overwhelmed. Actually... i realise i have lived such a simple life. I have no boyfriends to mess with my head, no excessive family problem, no heavy financial problem, a slight setback *ITP*... i guess... but so far... life is fairly good.

I just didn't take a step back and look at it. I mean... i am just another normal human being. Funny to be realising all this now. However, my priority is still my priority. I have my responsibility. Yes... i am a scholarship holder hence i bet they want me to be the best i can be but not try to kill myself in the process.

I must do what i can do... and to the best i can. Live up to my own expectation. As long as i don't break any law nor hurt other people in the process. Im cool. My parents are ever so supportive. For the first time in my life... i felt like... i am allowed to experience a setback. I really hope that this would catapult me to my future success. I live for me now... and just become what I am destined too. God has planned everything for me... i think that i'll just have to enjoy the ride and take things at it is...

Long live me!~

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