I currently have my own opinion eventhough i feel as if I would get shot by it.
Anyways... me n my sis went for breakfast. One of the aunty was being friendly I suppose and well... my sis werent so fond of being too friendly with her. I pointed it out, curious actually... and the reaction was... *friendly bertempat not like you.. all over the place*. My head was spinning madly thinking. Kitakan muslim sama2, nak bertempat apenye.. I mean i know I have this bad habit of being friendly to everyone... but it does not mean I don't put my guard up.
After that... my bro in law said *its a bad world and people will get ya*. I totally understand his point of view. With the rate of crime around, who wouldn't but then again... if we lead the world with... kau2, aku2 principle wouldn't that lead to another prob? Of course its not too good to be heavily involved, but a smile would not hurt anyone. Of course there is this bomoh2 thing and crap stuff... but I remembered, nothing goes by Him unknown. It happens because He let it happens. Who to blame? No one in particular actually.
On the bright side, it give us the reason to look for Him. He is the Best Protector of All. On the downfall, we suffer A LOT. But then again, prevention is better then cure, 5 times of solat, the 4 Qul before sleep, the secret rendezvous in the better half of the night, sole asking for his forgiveness and protection. Isnt that enough to protect you from all of that. All it takes is faith. A strong one. *of course there are other things... but Im a newbie*
I know its easier for me to say it... but actually its harder to do it... but its not impossible. Im training myself slowly again... Im weak and I know it but it does not give me a reason to stop trying.
Now i feel like i want to be surrounded by my friends again... they give me some sense of protection against all this bad things..
= Totally understand by... *the world is an Dan berpeganglah kamu semuanya kepada tali (agama) Allah, dan janganlah kamu bercerai berai, dan ingatlah akan nikmat Allah kepadamu ketika kamu dahulu (masa Jahiliah) bermusuh musuhan, maka Allah mempersatukan hatimu, lalu menjadilah kamu karena nikmat Allah orang-orang yang bersaudara; dan kamu telah berada di tepi jurang neraka, lalu Allah menyelamatkan kamu daripadanya. Demikianlah Allah menerangkan ayat-ayat-Nya kepadamu, agar kamu mendapat petunjuk.
[ali Imran, 3:103]*
Next thing in mind was... when people say they are not apt enough to be apart of something... i wonder whether is Satan toying with them again. Hurm... I was in that position, still in that position?... but... we must fight it. We must look for him eventhough it will be a path filled with sharp stone and things that cut you to the bone... Never think you are not good enough for it. You don't deserve to be among the crowd that knows Allah better than you. Be a part of it. Its a learning process that you would not be accustomed by only attending it once... it takes patience and and open heart for it to work. I know I did.
Im scared. Fullstop. Its a simple mere truth.
Im not running. I am not even crawling... im just merely dragging myself... on the floor... but I am going towards Him. Its hard. For me... its hard but its not impossible.
When there is a will, there is a way.
I need to be strong. Not only for me... but also for my family. Who to bring them along... if its not me.
I need a fresh start... a better focus... and a better, solid purpose.
One by one Diana... one by one.