Saturday, October 30, 2010

Sense of Senseless

Have you ever been pondering about things and reminder comes to you just like that. For example, while flipping the channels,picking up the magazines or even hearing it on the radio.

Things have happened.. and I know... will happen and yet I feel helpless. In a position where I can't be doing nor saying anything because then, it would be rude. Although the intentions are there... and yet I can't do anything but just to hold back.

Of course, the weakest Iman of all is to hold back and hate the action.

I would admit that I am not proud of what happened (still happening??)... but when Allah really gives his best to help by allowing me to see the reminders... I feel like I am important to Him. Regardless of how very insignificant I am. Reminders coming to me like bullets, forcing me to wake up and realize my mistake... that at one point i just thought...

'If people who are receving reminders and the right pathway simply ignores it... then it is actually them who are more blind than actual blind people themselves'

Then it scares me. Until when would Allah care about me to remind me? Of course He would never give up on us. I've seen it with my own eyes. The company im working for is a small company but the owners, I don't know.. maybe have a little disadvantage in the knowledge of religion... but I guess because they are generally nice people, Allah still in his own subtle ways try to remind them of Him. Apparently, our only stable client is an Haji/Religion related company... hence, do you see?. Its like knocking in their face. I really hope that they would get the Hidayah before its too late.

(Actually on the contrary... I know we are small and quite insignificant compared to anything at all but I feel somehow we are his greatest creation, so actually, we are very significant to him... isnt' it? Otherwise... he wouldn't even bother giving subtle reminders right?? - just musing about the things i've learn about how insignificant we are )

Anyways... when you longed for someone to appreciate and look at you. He already is and you don't really have to look far...

As a perfectly normal person with flaw... there are moments that I feel unjustified... unappreciative of what I have. Human complains... and I am a part of that too. However, I just have to keep reminding myself, that what I am and what I have is already better than most people around the world and I should be thankful.

I have to constantly remind myself that everything would be alright.



1 comment:

  1. You are special in your own way Di and how big/ small we are in the eyes of Allah, only He will know..
    Yes, be thankful with what you have and if you feel that your life is incomplete, try looking at others who have less than you..
    Take care dear! Do visit us when you're free! Miss ya.. :)