Today is my last day of work. Genap 3 and 3/4 month bekerja sebagai junior account executive. Walau sebenarnya hanyalah kuli... but an experience is still an experience no matter at what angle you look at it. I am thankful for eventhough I groan every morning like any other random teenager... I don't hop off the bed and psych myself to go to work.
Most of my mornings are accompanied by,
1. Slammin the alram clock + groaning
2. "Jap!~ Lagi 5 minit!~"
3. Groaning in my blanket "Malasnye nak pergi kerja!~"
4. "Kakak (my maid), tolong gosok tudung nih"
5. "Kereta kat mana?"
6. "Alamak... dah lambat!"
Yes. Its like that. -_-!~
Looking back at it... lawak jugak... but what can you expect eyh? Of course, sometimes we all have to be more responsible and more professional. Work is work. Kalau tak, halal ker duit gaji kita dapat tuh?
However, this brings me back to the first thing I did when I got the job. Bayar zakat pendapatan. Haha.. i know that this is like the last thing that any young adult(Are we still a teenager?) would think of but I did. Concious must right? Tapi.... after I went to calculate the zakat - it turned out to be... Tak layak pun. Gaji sikit sangat. Buat lawak jer.
But its the thought that counts.
Anyways, work was fine when it comes to the ending. Met so many type of people and their behavior and well i made this up 'When you drive absent mindly, you get to new places, aka - sesat'. But I know better now. My KL driving is 10x more better then before. I wont' forget my boss. A very sensible kind of lady who don't mind whacking people up when they need it. Seriously.
Btw, growing up... I always question myself. Why was I not born a male? I used to think that if I was a boy... it would please my dad more. I acted like one. Dressed like one but i guess when you are a girl, you still are a girl. Males have more responsibility that I know I couldn't carry. Im better off as a girl. :P
So now im in my 'preparing to go oversea' phase. I know other people have minimal time to get ready and next thing you know, whoosh and off they go. I still here counting my days and wondering whether I will get through. I think I am collecting dust in my brain and need some grease to sort it out. KMB changed me. Now I can't even look at an academic book in the house. The house feels like it doesn't have the 'you have to study' vibe.
You know, there are few things that I am not good at. One noteably, I am not good at saying goodbye. I act like everything would be fine but I can't ... I don't know.. display the feelings when parting. The pain comes afterward. I tend to be stone-rock when saying goodbye but please do understand, relationship with close ones is upmost important to me. Im just never good with words and feelings. Its a bit messed up.
Thing about moving foward is... sometimes, someone is bound to be left behind and dissapear. I did it to others... others did it to me. So, its karma. In another word, circle of life. Im saying this because... in life you meet so many people that of course in present they mean the world to you and yet as time pass by... they just disspear with time, moving on, on their own.
Im not saying its a bad thing... but its just the way it is. I don't know if you have super-memory but i can't remember who was my best friend in kindergarden. Do you? Another thing is... when you separate to different places... it takes effort to maintain the relationship (friendship) that you cherish a lot.
But overtime... I take peace in understanding that I can't be holding people down with me... to always be in constant communication with me... to always remember me. Yes, we fade with memory and dirt (when you die). So, i guess... the saying "you never know what you have until you lose it" goes a long way.
Then, by this, its actually important to live in the moment and make the other people know and realise that they are important to you. Even if its just with a reassuring smile, i guess it would be enough.
Facebook don't cut it. Really.
So I would question again, do people really do notice that we care and that they are important to us? If you are with me, sorry... you won't get it verbally. I don't say it. I would just be there and that I think, is the most proper way. Not only by words.
I am looking forward to the future with hopes that it would be better than my past. :)