Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Just Really A 'Maybe'

When I first built a determination of becoming a doctor.. like any other cliche answers was... 'I want to make a difference'.

How far?... Now, that is the real question.

Well... things that I remembered.. instances where it has prompted me to venture and try to be in Medicine was a commercial ad and a movie.

The commercial was about a boy who wrapped his teddy bear's with bandages and made his parents proud. I guess I wanted to be just like that. To make my parents proud.

The movie was on another hand was about this war... muslim was involved. Totally a Malay movie but I can't remember the title. There was bombing everywhere.. and distinctively.. I remembered black butterflies. That was an impact.

Then, knowing the knowledge that I know now.. even if its not much but I want to give a helping hand. I may not be great with religion knowledge. Not as much as my friends and maybe really not much at all... but I do wish that someday, I will get an opportunity to be of use in the Muslim Lands. Like, for instances.. work in Afghanistan, Palestine or the sorts. Allah knows they in dire need of good doctors.

However, sometimes I am concerned whether my drive to become someone useful would well.. these things need sacrifices right. What sacrifices it would take? I can only imagine... but to do it the great ultimatum right?

I may not be a good daie, or a good examplary person or even a good servant of Allah.. but I want to do this. Give my service, my skills and my knowledge. At least once. Maybe, I could be on the next trip to Palestine one day and give my service as a doctor.

And maybe die.

Ahh.. im scared already.

But.. somewhere deep, really deep. I want to do this. Then, beocming a doctor would be, for me, satisfactory and the purpose is served. Right? People say, becoming a doctor, in a war zone with limited supply... is really what a doctor is. (What century am I living in!! o.0? )

It needs skills.

Please remember, this is just what I merely thought... the question of will I ever do it... remains a question. But, if it really do happen. I'll let you know.

Hopefully, it does.



That's it.. this bad sleeping pattern is starting to take its toll. I mean really. Its bad for your health and its bad for your complexion. Even my behavior is starting to crack.... or was it the coffee?

Anyways, can't wait for classes to start. (I think i am going to regret saying it.. ). Im bored and my brain cell is depleting every second that passes by. Need to exercise my brain (and body). -_-!

Furthermore... whether we realise it or not obligations makes us a more disciplined person. At least thats what it does to me.

On a final note... i just can't believe im 20 already. Really. I would like to think that I am not that old. Its not the aging part that is bothering me... its just that.. where did my youth went to? Life is short.

Seems like yesterday that I asked my mother to make me some milk - I was 3 years old and I remembered that my milk was the blue 'Dutch Lady'.

I wanna be a kid again.


Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Shoot Your Targets

As a Muslim... I am aware that we must have targets in our lives. Life is actually unpredictable but hey... there is always "sync or swim" and even "fight or flight" situations... Humans mostly are programmed that way.

So, whenever you go to a confidence building session... they would always ask you to state your goal. What you want to achieve in life and the sorts... That got me thinking.. always.

Yes2, I know and I've heard that I think too much. Too much for my own good. Can't even enjoy the ride of life... plain and boring. Yadda2.. bla2.. but hey, no one is going think for you.. so might as well that you think for yourself. Ur not wasting anyone's energy anyways... -_-!

So, straight to the point… What do I want or plan anyways?

Timeline : 21 - 30 (Too early to think about mid-life crisis isn’t it?)

21-25 -Be very studious in terms of medicine and religion, be like a super-sucking sponge… seeking every valuable knowledge that would lead me to become the most super –efficient doctor.
* does anyone notice the enthusiasm? ^.^! *

- Be very optimistic and jovial, always smiling even through hardship and B-days, P-days and M-days.

- Enjoy life and travel and do all the wonderful things that youth can offer.

- Savings for future investments.

- Graduate with Honors in Medicine.


26-27 - Get married!? 'The "!?" sign shows I want but can I???'
(My sis married at 24. Hey, I have pressure here... although my parents would most likely say NO)

- Face through housemanship, MO, untrusting looks from patients, drama and well… (these are the only things I can think of… you wanna know the real deal, wait for another 5 years )

- Sucking every valuable experience and tiring time as an intern and all the crap that comes along with it. They say… the more crap you get, the better doctor you are. I am not sure whether im ready for this... @_@


28-30-Get married!? (Just in case I don’t fit in the above timeline… hey, I want a lot of kids alright, so bugger off)

-Face bosses and career politics ( You just can’t run away from it can you.. -_-! )

-Perform Umrah/Haji .

-Face mid-life crisis and maybe pursue my Masters Degree.


30 -??
For all we know… I may not even reach the age of 21, 0.0…
*insert cricket sound effect here*


Right... so.

For anyone who is reading this… doesn’t this seem too far-fetched?

I guess it goes by, ‘When you fail to plan... you are planning to fail’. Life is a onetime deal only. So by playing it adhering to the rule of The Creator, we should be a-okay.

Anyways… we can only plan life but who makes it happen is always Allah. I don’t know what the future holds for me but we have to always have good thought about what Allah has planned for us. What he planned is always the best even though it does not make sense at the time.

Things happen for a reason.


Thursday, December 2, 2010

Imagine This

Sometimes... even the happiest person on Earth would want this.

A caccoon. (Is that how you spell it?)

I wish for it now. Right now. Literally.