When I first built a determination of becoming a doctor.. like any other cliche answers was... 'I want to make a difference'.
How far?... Now, that is the real question.
Well... things that I remembered.. instances where it has prompted me to venture and try to be in Medicine was a commercial ad and a movie.
The commercial was about a boy who wrapped his teddy bear's with bandages and made his parents proud. I guess I wanted to be just like that. To make my parents proud.
The movie was on another hand was about this war... muslim was involved. Totally a Malay movie but I can't remember the title. There was bombing everywhere.. and distinctively.. I remembered black butterflies. That was an impact.
Then, knowing the knowledge that I know now.. even if its not much but I want to give a helping hand. I may not be great with religion knowledge. Not as much as my friends and maybe really not much at all... but I do wish that someday, I will get an opportunity to be of use in the Muslim Lands. Like, for instances.. work in Afghanistan, Palestine or the sorts. Allah knows they in dire need of good doctors.
However, sometimes I am concerned whether my drive to become someone useful would well.. these things need sacrifices right. What sacrifices it would take? I can only imagine... but to do it the great ultimatum right?
I may not be a good daie, or a good examplary person or even a good servant of Allah.. but I want to do this. Give my service, my skills and my knowledge. At least once. Maybe, I could be on the next trip to Palestine one day and give my service as a doctor.
And maybe die.
Ahh.. im scared already.
But.. somewhere deep, really deep. I want to do this. Then, beocming a doctor would be, for me, satisfactory and the purpose is served. Right? People say, becoming a doctor, in a war zone with limited supply... is really what a doctor is. (What century am I living in!! o.0? )
It needs skills.
Please remember, this is just what I merely thought... the question of will I ever do it... remains a question. But, if it really do happen. I'll let you know.
Hopefully, it does.